Cold toes, warm heart

Cold Toes. We did keep our weekend camping appointment. It was sort of funny, we stopped at the park office to register on Friday and the young woman working there called me by name. I thought she either had telepathic powers or a really excellent memory, but in reality we were THE ONLY CAMPERS and we were IN A TENT. We must be crazy. It was actually fun as long as we kept active. Yesterday we hiked with our mountain goat dog, Maddie, most of the day, not because we wanted to walk that much, but because it was too cold to just sit and read or play cards. This morning when we woke up there was a frost and it was 24 degrees - yikes! My toes are just beginning to thaw.
Warm Heart. When we got home, there was a package from our new Dec DTC secret pal. This month's theme was children's books. Our pal sent three board books, which will be so great for little, paper-tearing hands. The first one is called My Peekaboo Fun, which is a lift-the-flap book about opposites and colors. It has a lot happening on every page, I think it will be really fun to read with Nora - she can learn shapes, colors, animals, opposites! The second is called You're My Little Love Bug which has not only a sweet poem, but music, lights and a place for Nora's picture! Last, but certainly not least, is Hippos Go Berserk!, a hilarious Boyton numbers book about a lonely hippo whose party gets a little out of hand. I can't even do it justice. It's very funny. My favorite is the little beast that arrives with 6 of the hippos. He shows up on several of the pages wearing a big grin and creating mischief.

Cutie Pie

This is Nora's new kitty cat doll, found on Etsy. Her name is Cutie Pie. I first saw her a week or so ago and have been back every day to make sure that no one else has bought her. Today I broke down and ordered her. I hope she's as soft and cuddly as she looks.

Here's the description from Etsy:

Oopsy ... this doll's ears are lopsided, her nose tilts to the right. As I tossed her aside, a little girl saw, she scooped up the doll and hugged her with awe. She said, "Her nose is crooked, but don't toss her away. She is not perfect, and I LOVE her that way!" That is how alli-oopsies were born. They may not be perfect, but never mind, that just lets you know it's one of a kind!

Aww...

East Meets West

Yesterday we attended GWCA's East Meets West adoption conference in Minneapolis. It was a very nicely organized event with a number of interesting sessions about such topics as cross cultural parenting, bonding & attachment, chinese culture, community support, travel, etc.

The best session we attended was "Cross Cultural Parenting", presented by Cheri Register, author of Are Those Kids Yours?: American Families With Children Adopted From Other Countries and Beyond Good Intentions: A Mother Reflects On Raising Internationally Adopted Children. She offered a number of insightful comments such as "Listen to what your child tells you about race and racism; do not assume color-blindness." and "Stay in touch with the internationally adopted community because this will probably be where your child finds her identity". She also recommended listening to and reading the writings of adult adoptees and being prepared not to like everything you hear, but acknowleding the validity of the comments. I've been doing this already and, she's right, theirs is not an easy meassage to hear, but it is so important I think for adoptive parents to listen and learn.

Rob went to a (similar? hard to tell since I wasn't there myself) session presented by an adult adoptee and adoptive parent representing the local FCC chapter. Rob said she talked about some of the uninformed and insensitive comments that people make in the presense of children - the example she gave was her mother in law saying something really horrifying like "aren't you glad her eyes aren't very slanty?" (this said to her Korean daughter-in-law and in front of her Chinese granddaughter!) - and the need to educate friends and family in advance of receiving the baby. What she didn't say was how precisely to do this, which would have been very helpful!

We also bumped into a few people we knew at the event. Our friend Annette (hi, Annette!) introduced us to a new book called Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections. I flipped through it a bit at breakfast and it looks like a fantastic reference. Its list price is $29.95, but Amazon has it for only $19.77 ... or you could use a Borders Rewards coupon, which is probably what I'll do since it's an excuse to go to Borders.

Pandamonium!

I had the day off today (which meant that I worked a half day from home) and decided to do a little shopping in the afternoon. I found some things I wanted - gifts for my Secret Pal, actually - and was standing in line to pay. The woman in front of me had a huge basket of stuff that she was buying, so I was standing there waiting for quite a while. I was just kind of looking around, up higher than where I normally look and I saw IT - a stuffed panda on a shelf labeled "Clearance"! He's 17" tall and was marked down to $5! He came home with us. He doesn't have a stain on his belly, by the way, that's just some weird shadow that showed up in the photo. He is perfect :)

I ran the bear up to Nora's room when I got home and on my way downstairs I noticed a box on the porch -- it was the first gift from our new Jan DTC secret pal. She sent Nora a t-shirt and socks from the San Diego zoo (home of the PandaCam), a bunny stroller toy and two packages of Halloween tissues.
Thank you very much, Secret Pal! I think you told me something about yourself with this gift. I've narrowed your identity down to someone who (1) lives in SanDeigo (2) has visited SanDiego (3) knows someone in SanDiego. Let's see, who can I cross of the list of possible Secret Pals... uhm, no one. Bummer. Well, maybe next month.

Worries... and some hope

I've been reading some of the blogs of adult Korean adoptees and growing more and more concerned about my ability to make the right choices for Nora. I want her to know and appreciate her Chinese heritage, but I'm not Chinese. How do I do this? We've joined the FCC. We have a few Chinese friends (not adoptees, people who either live in China or have moved here from China as adults). Reading some of these blogs, though, I feel like even observing someone to be Chinese makes me a racist.

I was just about at my wits end, when arrives - seemingly from nowhere - an email from a co-worker who tells me that she has heard (from another coworker) that we are adopting a child from China. She goes on to tell me that she was adopted from Korea. Even better, she is actively involved with one of the local adoption agencies and is a mentor to other Korean adoptees. She is willing to share her experiences. We are going to have lunch and talk. I feel really lucky to have met her!

January DTC Secret Pal Revealed!!

It was one of those happy, box-on-the-porch kind of days at our house! It was the October gift/reveal from our January DTC Secret Pal -- Cindy P! And what an incredible gift it was -- a jack-o-lantern cap, Halloween bib, Thanksgiving bib, soap leaves, stroller hooks and the cutest flower onesie (with pretty flutter sleeves that unfortunately don't show in the photo) and khaki skirt with a "Cutie" applique.

Thank you so much Cindy for being such a wonderful secret pal! I hope we have a chance to meet in China!

Back to Borders

It has been weeks since we've been to Borders. Seriously. WEEKS. At least three. I hadn't even seen the October issue of British Ideal Home¹.

So, today, armed with Nora's book list and the latest coupons from the Borders Rewards email, off we went. Rob missed the turn. Understandable, since we hadn't been there in so long. Finally we arrived and found it just as wonderful as we remembered. We drank coffee and read magazines. I bought Nora a book, The Story About Ping, and a cd, Sing Along With Putumayo. It was a lovely afternoon.

¹ Ideal Home is my absolute favorite decorating magazine. I never buy it, but I read it every time we go to Borders. The pictures are great, but it's a little frustrating that none of the products are available in the US. If I ever move to the UK, though, boy will I know where to shop.

First October Bibs!

Today we received the most incredible bibs and burb cloths from Dee -- she embroidered them herself with Nora's name! Aren't they adorable?! Thank you so much, Dee!

Thank you Cris!

The January DTC group is doing single month theme swaps in addition to the secret pals exchange, which is more of an on-going thing. There have been a few of them, but so far I've only participated in two - the hair bobber swap from a couple of months back and, most recently, a blanket/lovey swap.

It was a nice swap for me because I shopped for Karen (who I've known quite a while from the OHGWQ group) and my shopper was Cris who I've been co-hosting the December Secret Pals exchange with. Sort of fun to get matched with people you "know"!

Cris sent Nora the softest pink blankie with satin binding. It's just the sort of thing you know a baby would love. The textures are incredible. Thank you so much Cris, I know Nora will love it!

Family Fun

I've decided that tent camping would be a fun family activity. Since we aren't really campers, we're trying to find some good spots nearby and get in a little practice before attempting it with Nora. Rob and I have camped twice in the past month and have another reservation for late this month (I'm a little afraid that we might get a taste of winter camping with that one!) . Gradually we're figuring out what we need to make this work - for example, we now have a screen porch and better cookware and are looking for a bigger tent (our little 3-man dome barely fits the two of us and the dog).

Speaking of Maddie, this is working out great for her. Lots of walks in the woods and an endless supply of squirrels to chase. Doesn't she look at home in the wilderness??

December Secret Pal Revealed!!

For many months, I've been receiving the most wonderful, thoughtful gifts from our December Secret Pal and trying very hard not to do too much detective work based on postage that looks like this (and why is everybody else's postage so much more interesting than mine??).

Finally, today the reveal arrived and -- it's Nana in Denmark! Obviously I knew my pal was in Europe (although today's postage was the first with a really obvious country stamp), but luckily there are a few people on the list in Europe -even a couple in Denmark- so I really didn't know for sure who she was until today.

Oh -- and Nora's September gift is a gorgeous beaded barette (very sparkly and fancy!!) and sweet lady bug bracelet, just the right size for a little girl.


Thank you so much, Nana, for all the fun gifts and encouragement. You've been a terrific pal, I'm very lucky!

P.S. The card had ducks on it! I don't think I've mentioned this here, but when I was 3 or 4 we had a pet duck named TD ("The Duck"). I could swear that he lived in a box under the kitchen table, but I could be wrong about that. Steve or Mark, if you read this, could you click on the comment link below this message and give me the lowdown on why we had a duck under the table?

Update: Nana posted to the list that she bought the ladybug bracelet in Venice, Italy in a local shop specializing in children's jewelry. Isn't that a great story?? And how wonderful that there exists a place where there are shops specializing in children's jewelry! Somebody please remind me to make sure this gets in Nora's scrapbook so she knows the story behind her ladybug bracelet!

Spend much time on the computer?

After spending an embarrassing amount of time on the computer, I finally hit the wall. I don't know if it was life, work or general weariness with the "wait" - or some combination of all three - but I've had ZERO interest in any of my online China waiting family stuff for several weeks.

This is Gaily (aka Abigail) and my laptop. As you can see, she spends more time "on" the computer than I do!