Today I finished reading China Ghosts by Jeff Gammage. I can't say that much about this book was new - it's a fairly typical China adoption story. The book is well-written, though, and told from the perspective of the father, which was interesting.The parts I found most interesting were the descriptions of the first days spent with each of their two daughters. The story of the older daughter, Jin Yu, was told in more detail and was very interesting in that she was (1) detached and (2) had a large scar on her head, requiring medical evaluation in China. It is good to hear some of the not-so-perfect stories, I think, because those are the ones that make us think and help us prepare ourselves.
I've been thinking about these things a lot lately because of the recent discussion over at the RQ site regarding the referral of children with repaired special needs in the NSN program. While it is unlikely that this will happen, it's a possibility that we need to consider and discuss in advance with our spouse and with our agency. Everyone needs to make the choices that are right for their family and owes it to themself and to the child to be as informed as possible. It would probably be a good idea to find a pediatrician and talk to the International Adoption Clinic in advance of receiving a referral and also prepare a contact list of resources that might be needed if you have concerns while you're in China. I'm going to start working on ours.
BTW, how do I find a pediatrician? There are two of them at the clinic that Rob and I go two, but they are both white women. I think it would be nice to find some more diverse role models for Nora. I'm just not sure how to do that. Any ideas?
2 comments:
thanks for the book review. Its been on my list, looking forward to reading it
I started asking people I knew who have adopted where they take their kids. While Genevieve's primary care-giver at the clinic is white, she is an adoptive mom who I call the "seed planter" for the U of M's Int'l clinic - in fact she was willing to look over my referral for free vs. paying for the U to do it.
This clinic actually has quite a few children who came to their families through adoption and I liked that this woman totally "got" the issues with post-institutionalized kids - no arguing about giving me a prescription for antibiotics to take to China, no pressure to take her off the bottle by a certain chronological age etc.... There is also an Asian female physician that Genevieve can see, but even if she doesn't meet with her, she can see her working - an authority figure etc...
Other things to consider - where do you want the doctor to be, closer to home or closer to where she will be in daycare? Is there a clinic system that can offer you buildings in both places? What is more important to you - a doctor that has experience with internationally adopted kids or one who is non-white? Do you feel stongly one way or the other about vaccines - if so will the doctor support your choice?
Doesn't your company have an adoption network? I'd start by asking around there and make a list of the clinics/doctors. Any doctor worth using should set aside time for you to come in an tour their facility and to speak with them directly prior to you having your referral - just like they would for a couple waiting to give birth.
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